Your stupidity is my job security

I am a receptionist.

 

I wish!

Unfortunately, everyone in my company thinks that is all they do. I really need to get a few rants off my chest today. Otherwise, I may go home and commit murder to the first person who asks me a stupid question. And, most likely that will be my husband. He may ask me where the iron skillet is. And to that question, I may have to show him exactly where it is and he will never forget!

By the way, I work with 17 men! I have to admit, it is nice not having to work about caddy, gossiping women who went shopping the previous weekend and got the cutest outfit or is bitching their pedi is two weeks old. Heck, my hubs wouldn’t give me $17 today for a shirt I saw on sale.

My bitch about phones:

Most of the calls that come through my job everyday are one of the 17 dumbass techs. I really think it is a requirement that they all call at least 5 times daily. I look at it like my branch manager is thinking, “Wow. Collette is really busy answering those phones”. Well, they call constantly and want to speak to the warehouse. I have mentioned numerous times, “Warehouse has its’ own number”. They’re response??? “Well, then I wouldn’t get to hear your beautiful voice darling.”

Gag!!! Really?!?! Oh wow. I am so excited !! That made my day!

Also, when they call, they want to have a conversation like “how is your day”. Grant it, they’re trying to be nice but they have been at my desk lurking with six other technicians while the phone is ringing and me having to answer the next dumbest question. Back to that in a minute.. another complaint.

The techs aren’t even half the problem…. corporate calls consistently all day long as well. I will transfer them to the warehouse for instance. They hang up and the person will call my number right back!!!
“Can I speak to the dispatcher this time?”

“Why yes.” * smiling as big as ever so it doesn’t go through the phone that I want to kill them**

What I want to say???

“Couldn’t you have asked warehouse to transfer you while you were on the phone?”

My bitch about Corporate being all about me:

For example, this is my biggest complaint today… this AM, I get an email requesting the latest truck list. That had actually been on my list for a week now so I responded, ” I have already done it. I am waiting on Keith’s truck info since he is new. I don’t know if he has a truck or not yet. I asked the dispatcher and he is supposed to let me know”. Now, to me, if this was really a 911 situation, she would have called the dispatcher and asked him because she is technically his boss. He will listen to her before me. Four PM comes around, and my boss, the Branch Manager of HOuston, comes to me and says, “You really need to get on that list for Austin. They said they’ve been waiting on you to get it done”.

REally????

So, that made me almost go psycho immediately. Not at him…. But the fact that she could have called me asking me if I ever got the info, she could have called the dispatcher and told him to get the info to me asap so I can finish the list, etc. But to call my boss and act as though you’ve been sitting around twittling your thumbs as though I hadn’t done anything???? Ugh!

In her defense, my boss is one of those people who hears something and immediately has to get it out of his hands….. I ended up asking the dispatcher if he ever got the information for me and he gave it to me. I updated the list and sent it to Austin. Within five minutes she calls me and says, “You have on here that two techs don’t have phone numbers”.

Me?

“Yea, I put that so you would call me and question it because I don’t have anything else to do”.

Not really…….. I politely responded that they didn’t have phones so yes, that is why I put NA in the spots where the phone numbers go. I really think I deserve an award for not continuing how she didn’t ask for phone numbers in the first place…. she asked for what truck numbers the guys were driving. I gave her more information than what she needed.

These are the things I have to put up with on a DAILY basis! And these are just two things. It is almost 5:00 pm so of course I could go on and on about the stupid questions I get asked or the stupid things I have to do on a daily basis.

Coming here is like going back home to the bar in my hometown. Whenever I feel gross and ugly next to these suburbia moms I sometimes go back home to Winnie and beg my friends to go to Tiki Too. They never want to go but I want to so I can be the prettiest one (besides them of course) in the room. I leave feeling like I am Ms. America. Here at my job, I feel like I am the smartest person on the planet. Yesterday, someone called me a computer geek. They think it is a compliment to me when they say things like that and I try to take it as one……….. until days like today. However, when a client comes in and they introduce me as “The Receptionist” I want to punch their throat. I want to yell, “Well, just let me be a receptionist then”.

Its’ 4:57 so my rant has to end…….. unfortunately for my husband I didn’t vent it all out. Tomorrow, I may be trying to figure out where to hide a body.

JK 🙂

And I am typing this while answering the phone, answering more stupid questions, trying to eat lunch and get ready to head home for the day. No time for proof reading. Just know I am a genious……….. at least here I am !