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My Umbrella Rant — November 4, 2015

My Umbrella Rant

I received an umbrella in my Fab Fit Fun box this month.  Although I love it and I played with it for about ten minutes I don’t understand the need for EVERYONE to have them.  The hubs and I have had conversations about this and although my new,  cute little umbrella probably needs to be moved to my car (I do realize they serve a purpose at times) I do think I have the right to voice my opinion.  Maybe one person will agree with me.

Reasons umbrellas are ultimately annoying to me:

  1. By the time you open your car door and open the dang thing then reach over to get your purse and keys, etc. you have already let half a gallon of water in your car.  Just open the door and run inside.
  2. People who use umbrellas always stand in the middle of the freaking covered area immediately and undo their umbrella.  Are they considerate that other customers are all using that same area to enter and leave the store???!!!  No!  Cause they’re too dang busy trying to figure out how to close the dang thing, taking up five feet of the designated area that is mean for EVERYONE.  It is not your world!! Other people live here too!
  3. These same people do the same as above while exiting the covered area, once again taking up five feet of shared space
  4. When they reach their vehicle which their umbrella and sit back inside their car with their umbrella still open (God forbid if they get wet at all) they take forever to close it (once again)
  5. Also, getting in or out of the vehicle, you have your door wide open to make room for your umbrella.  Did you make sure you left enough parking space to have your door wide open and not ding the car next to you?  Or is someone waiting for you to get your $hit together waiting to get in their car standing in the rain?

I am sorry.  I shouldn’t sound so rude. It is your world. Thanks for letting me go to your store from time to time.  Btw…  your hair looks great!

Reasons umbrellas come in handy:  Not that I have ever used one in any of these circumstances but when I have been in these predicaments I have thought, “Wow, I should really get an umbrella”.

  1. You are taking your grandma or grandpa to the store.  You walk to their side, hold it over them while they get out and walk by them inside.  Once you get to the covered area, you move over to the side so others can walk past you!
  2. You will be walking awhile in the rain like at Renaissance Festival (which why would you go if you even think it may rain. I mean, how can you hold your umbrella and drink your beer at the same time), several stores at a strip center, etc.
  3. You see an elderly or handicapped person walking without an umbrella
  4. If you have matching rain boots and umbrella by all means sport that like no business.

For moms with young children…  they like to get wet.  They enjoy it.  Let them stomp in every puddle they pass while walking without an umbrella.  Heck, jump in the puddle with them (as long as there is not an older person walking by)

Oh!  And one last point and then I will step off my box………

If you are in a strip center or outdoor mall, please move to the side while you are opening or closing your umbrella.  Not everyone is as well organized as you are.  No need to make us stand in the rain longer and rub it in our face.