I know! I know! By my Featured Image I appear to be a classy, well put together individual headed to work at my classy job.
Yea right! This is an everyday occurrence for me I swear! People often ask me why I am so perky and hyper (Isn’t that a nice word for annoying?) all the time. The answer is simple:
I have to laugh at myself. I am a hot mess. There is no other way to describe my disFUNction. Since 12:31 AM (Well, I didn’t have my glasses on. That is the time I saw on the microwave), my morning has been….. well, normal (for my life).
At 12:30 AM, Hercules is crying. We have him on a leash next to our bed because he likes to roam at night. When he roams, apparently he gets bored and likes to poop in the house. Therefore, now when he gets bored (or actually wants to poop) we have to let him go outside and either do his business or just walk around for a few minutes while we are annoyed. Usually, the Hubs gets up with him since Hercules is on his side of the bed. Plus, I have a huge fan blowing right by my ear so I “can’t hear” Hercules when he cries. Last night, Hercules kept crying and the Hubs kept saying, “Go to sleep”. Finally, after the fifth “Go to sleep” I decided it was pretty boring laying there pretending to still sleep while they were having their argument. I got up and let him out.
Five minutes later, I call for him to come inside. Of course, he has to go through the kitchen to make sure someone hasn’t accidentally left the trash can out or some food on the kitchen counter tops. After he is done with his patrolling I get him upstairs and put him back on his leash.
Now that I am wide awake, of course, I get on Pinterest. Of course all these fitness and weight loss ideas are showing up in my feed. Yep at 1:00 AM I am hyped. I am going to wake up at 5:00 AM this and do one of these Cross Fit work outs! I am going to get up every morning. According to this blog it is easy and only takes 15 minutes per day.
1:45 AM – Turn off phone and think about how hot I am going to look now that I am going to wake up at 5:00 AM and work out from now on
2:00 AM – staring in space thinking, “Well maybe I will wake up at 5:30 AM”
2:15 AM – Okay, I will still wake up at 5:30 AM but hit snooze JUST ONCE
6:00 AM – Pops come to tell me bye and says “Your alarm has been going off”
7:10 AM – Crap I should get in bed
When I am in a rush, I can always depend on my leggings to make it appear as if I actually tried to look cute. I put on my trusty Denim (Or Chambray whatever ya’ll call it) shirt on with my leopard leggings. I couldn’t find my black scarf so brown had to do which meant I had to wear my brown boots.
Curl the hair and grab the boots. Yes, its’ 7:20 I am good !
I put my left boot on and of course my boots have shrunk! So I get the trusty hanger out and manage to pull them up.
Then comes the right leg. Well, these come up much easier. Whew!!! I still have time to get out the door by 7:25 AM.
When I stand up
“Can I call and say I will be a few minutes late I am having fat girl Problems”
So, I just head on to work! I am a trooper like that!
But of course, once I got to work, my friend helped me! The boss can never say we do not work together.
While he is helping me, I remember I have a hole in the crotch of these leggings. Don’t worry, I won’t show a picture of that.
“I will hold it while you pull”
Then I realized I could take the boot (and remembered the crotch thing) off and it would probably be easier. He takes my boot to the back and gets the zipper back on track. Dang cheap boots!!!