Oh Oh Something Shiny!!!

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Am I just stupid or what? — August 27, 2015

Am I just stupid or what?

I consider myself to pretty computer savvy. Maybe not a genius but I can figure things out if need be. However, this learning how to insert printable recipe cards is a real bitch!!! I have been trying to figure this crap out and it just isn’t working.

First, I google “how to insert printable recipes in wordpress”. Can’t get much easier than that right? Of course there is a program to do just that. Apparently, you download it and its’ easy as 123. Thats’ what it says in the heading anyways. So, I download this app and now I can’t find the damn thing in my Windows apps. I have no clue where it went or what it is called! It is Yum yum whatever? Is it Recipe cards? Hell, I have no clue!!!

I am fixing to slit my wrist by this point!

Then of course the dang employees here keep coming up and asking me crap about work! Don’t they see that I am busy??!!??!!!

So, I decide to google it once again. I find this lady and I like how simplistic she made it all seem. So, I go into my excel spreadsheet and save my recipe as a .pdf like she said. I got into media and look for it and what happens???

I CAN’T FIND IT !!! I SAVED THE SOB!!!

I finally found a format of recipe cards that I made up that works for me! I am so happy and I can’t upload it on here to make the step by steps of recipes “ADHD friendly”.

See what I get for being creative? Now it is 16 minutes before I got off and I didn’t get anything accomplished today. Yes, I did work wise but I worked my butt off this AM and got all my crap done so I could figure this crap out. Yes, I could go home and do it but who wants to do that? I am at the computer all day at work. I haven’t even turned my laptop on at the house.

Now the decision for me today is:

Do I go home and cook the meal that I bought groceries for during my lunch? And, may I add the recipe that I made a fancy damn card for to upload on here?

or

Go for a jog in this hot dang weather and then go home and rush to cook supper?

or

Go drink wine?

oh wait! I may have gotten it.  LOL!!!  I have no idea what it will look like but I am just gonna go for it. It is 4:56 so I am gonna just paste and continue tomorrow.  🙂

recipes

yay!! it worked.  I accidentally did both but whatever. it worked.  Now hopefully I will remember what I did tomorrow.

My first Dog Shaming — August 20, 2015

My first Dog Shaming

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How can you resist this smile?

 

I have an English Mastiff.  His name is Hercules.  And yes, I know about the dog from “The Sandlot” !!!  If another person asks me that, I think I will take a baseball bat and shove it down their throats.  Why the hostility?  Because when we adopted him, that was his name.  I wanted to change it to Samson but my daughter wouldn’t let me.  She said he wouldn’t know his name.  Really?  I mean, is he going to be in Kindergarten and not raise his hand at roll call?  But, I decided to let her have her way.  I had no clue about this movie though.  I will admit, after the 100th comment, I finally BOUGHT the movie since there is no such thing as video stores anymore to see what the hoopla was about.  it took me three days to watch it in 30 minute intervals.  I kept falling asleep.  Apparently, the whole movie was about an English Mastiff that made his appearance during the last five minutes of the movie.  I will never get that hour and a half back.

We have had him for about two years now. He is the biggest baby. And, we have had issues with him pooping at night in the house I do admit. We have had to start tying him on his leash to our bed at night so he cannot get off and go roam. Since then we haven’t had a problem. Maybe he is mad because we didn’t change his name? I should really run that by my daughter…

Yesterday, she was home all day to let him in and out. It did rain off and on throughout the day, pretty hard at times even. I came home early and went for a run since it was cool enough (it was only 85 degrees ) since the rain had came in bringing the arctic freeze. Believe me, anything below 90 degrees in August here is considered “cool” to us Houstonians. After my run, I went on an errand making me come back home around 6:30. When I walked in the back gate, Hercules was outside and so was his collar. Uh Oh………….. what did he do?

I walked in the house and Jordan was making cake balls. I asked about Hercules and she said to not let him in because Greg said he was now an outside dog. Then I hear the carpet shampooer………….. Jordan explained that Greg had came home and let Hercules out while he did something outside. He was out for about ten minutes. Then Greg let him back in and Greg went to change clothes to go work out. He came out of the bathroom and smelled “the stench” that we have all become to know so well…….. When you have a big dog, it isn’t that easy to find the spot. The smell doesn’t stay within the small area……… it spreads through the entire house.

Apparently, Hercules had came in straight from being outside and went to poop in Jordan’s room. He obviously knows he is doing wrong because he always does it somewhere where we never go. However, this time, somehow he stepped in it and went back downstairs………. making tracks of poop all the way from her room, down the stairs, and into the living room in his spot acting all innocent.

Needless to say, Hercules and Greg had a rumble trying to get him out the door. I am sure there was yelling and some curse words in the process. Hercules has learned how to maneuver his way out of his collar when he is in trouble. LOL! I walked upstairs and saw Greg with his handy dandy carpet shampooer trying to clean all the paw prints down the stairs. Do they make portable carpet shampooers ? HHHMMM… that is a thought. We seem to use that more than the vacuum cleaner I swear.

I remembered the whole dog shaming thing and decided to take advantage of it. He does this every time it rains. I don’t know why Greg was shocked personally. Me and Jordan made our sign so we could post his dog shaming picture. The trick??? He hates pictures. He can be doing the cutest thing but if you try to take a picture he is walking away or will cover his face. That is why he isn’t looking at the camera. Jordan was holding a bone and making him sit while I was sneaking in pictures.

dog shaming

Of course, when Greg came home he said its’ a good thing he got a work out in and relieved all his stress because Hercules was going to be an outside dog (yea right). Did he forget there are three women he lives with? When he came home and took his shower, Hercules walked up to him with his sad face asking for forgiveness. Greg finally pet him and his little smile was so cute. He was happy they made up. I asked Greg how he could resist it………..

That face is adorable!!!!

Just my luck — August 13, 2015

Just my luck

I remember going through high school and wondering why all my friends liked beer. I would hold one occasionally and pretend to be cool but it was pretty gross to me. As I got older, I would have a Miller Lite occasionally but never craved a beer at all.

Then came Greg!!! I love him but I have a love / hate relationship with the things he has introduced me to. One of these things is beer. I never had to worry about consuming too many calories in the day with beer or any alcohol for that matter.

Today, I am a “Wanna be beer Coinsure”. Yes, I guess you may call me a “Beer Snob” as well. I started out with Blue Moon. Now, Shiner is my “light” beer if I go anywhere. Most places don’t have a lot of dark beers but Shiner is my Go to and so is Blue Moon. Yea, weird right??? For a person who hates beer, I enjoy the stronger beers. I remember us going to The Gingerbread one day in Rice Village and him getting the darkest beer possible. I forgot what it was because I wouldn’t dare drink that. I took a sip and was grossed out to the extreme.

In the past year, I have started taking sips of his super strong beers and I enjoy them. I love the flavor of them. Who knew beer really doesn’t taste like horse piss??!!??!!!

When I go buy beer, I am still a typical girl and get the coolest beer I can find. By cool I mean the color or theme of the packaging. I follow this man on instagram who posts all his craft beers in his pictures. I saw he had Not your Father’s Root beer. Wow!!! Now, for some reason this intrigued me immediately and I went to every story trying to find it in Pearland.

Last week, I was telling my friend (who is known for driving four hours for a particular six pack) if she ever saw it to get me some. She informed me a friend of hers was just talking about it the day prior and had gotten it at Sprouts in the Heights here in Houston. Yay!!!!

So, the next day, during my lunch I made the trip. I had calculated the difference and the traffic time from my office to that sprouts. It was 24 minutes there and back. Awesome!!! That gives me 12 minutes in the store which is great since I only have $30 anyway. No money nor time to wander around the store. Get in and Get out!!!

I made it in 22 minutes (my goal on every trip is to beat the GPS) and got my beer. Of course, I had to buy my friend some also. I was so excited!

Whats’ really weird about this entire endeavor is I can’t stand Root Beer… yes, I make no sense to myself either. No Worries.

Anyway……….. on the way home, I am so excited. I have my beer and it is Friday night! Of course, there is a wreck on the way home !!!!  Ugh!! So, my lunch break went 20 minutes over. I didn’t have any ice nor a cooler to keep my beer cold so I brought in my two six packs of beer to keep in the fridge so it wouldn’t get hot in this 106 deg. weather and then get cold again.

I still don’t know if that hot / cold thing is true but these beer was 12.99 a six pack and I wanted the full effect!

I am bringing it in in my brown paper bag (my request) sprouts had put it in……… I get two feet from the fridge at my work and

SPLAT!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!

The bag busted underneath, all the beers fell out and 8 beers busted!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, then I decide to get my camera because I love to take pictures of my “stupid moments” and post them on Facebook but my camera was full. I tried deleted 40 pictures to make room for one picture………. still wouldn’t work!!!!

Is it too early to open my “root beer” at work? By this point, this beer better make me lost 30 pounds and taste like Ganache !

I did however, post my picture of my six pack so proud on Facebook bragging how I got me and my friend each one. What was the response???? Three people saying how they saw it at “normal” stores. Whatever!!!! They live in San Antonio.

I take my beer home and never even drank it. The hubs got on my nerves and I really didn’t want to indulge in my fancy beer I worked so hard for and listening to him at the same time.

Saturday, I am cleaning the house and decide I can have a break and drink me a root beer. I opened it and had a few sips……………… YUM!!!! WOW!!! Oh, it was so worth it. All the trouble was totally worth it!!! I ended up giving the rest to the hubs because once I start, I am not stopping and it was only 3:00 pm. I was still cleaning.

I ran to the store to buy some dish soap and was is displayed at the entrance???

root beer

Yep!!! You guessed it!! And cheaper too!!!!

So to everyone (my one reader) LOL! who now sees Not Your Father’s Rootbeer in the store in normal stores like Walmart, Krogers, HEB, etc….

YOU’RE WELCOME 🙂

You’re welcome!

Your stupidity is my job security — August 5, 2015

Your stupidity is my job security

I am a receptionist.

 

I wish!

Unfortunately, everyone in my company thinks that is all they do. I really need to get a few rants off my chest today. Otherwise, I may go home and commit murder to the first person who asks me a stupid question. And, most likely that will be my husband. He may ask me where the iron skillet is. And to that question, I may have to show him exactly where it is and he will never forget!

By the way, I work with 17 men! I have to admit, it is nice not having to work about caddy, gossiping women who went shopping the previous weekend and got the cutest outfit or is bitching their pedi is two weeks old. Heck, my hubs wouldn’t give me $17 today for a shirt I saw on sale.

My bitch about phones:

Most of the calls that come through my job everyday are one of the 17 dumbass techs. I really think it is a requirement that they all call at least 5 times daily. I look at it like my branch manager is thinking, “Wow. Collette is really busy answering those phones”. Well, they call constantly and want to speak to the warehouse. I have mentioned numerous times, “Warehouse has its’ own number”. They’re response??? “Well, then I wouldn’t get to hear your beautiful voice darling.”

Gag!!! Really?!?! Oh wow. I am so excited !! That made my day!

Also, when they call, they want to have a conversation like “how is your day”. Grant it, they’re trying to be nice but they have been at my desk lurking with six other technicians while the phone is ringing and me having to answer the next dumbest question. Back to that in a minute.. another complaint.

The techs aren’t even half the problem…. corporate calls consistently all day long as well. I will transfer them to the warehouse for instance. They hang up and the person will call my number right back!!!
“Can I speak to the dispatcher this time?”

“Why yes.” * smiling as big as ever so it doesn’t go through the phone that I want to kill them**

What I want to say???

“Couldn’t you have asked warehouse to transfer you while you were on the phone?”

My bitch about Corporate being all about me:

For example, this is my biggest complaint today… this AM, I get an email requesting the latest truck list. That had actually been on my list for a week now so I responded, ” I have already done it. I am waiting on Keith’s truck info since he is new. I don’t know if he has a truck or not yet. I asked the dispatcher and he is supposed to let me know”. Now, to me, if this was really a 911 situation, she would have called the dispatcher and asked him because she is technically his boss. He will listen to her before me. Four PM comes around, and my boss, the Branch Manager of HOuston, comes to me and says, “You really need to get on that list for Austin. They said they’ve been waiting on you to get it done”.

REally????

So, that made me almost go psycho immediately. Not at him…. But the fact that she could have called me asking me if I ever got the info, she could have called the dispatcher and told him to get the info to me asap so I can finish the list, etc. But to call my boss and act as though you’ve been sitting around twittling your thumbs as though I hadn’t done anything???? Ugh!

In her defense, my boss is one of those people who hears something and immediately has to get it out of his hands….. I ended up asking the dispatcher if he ever got the information for me and he gave it to me. I updated the list and sent it to Austin. Within five minutes she calls me and says, “You have on here that two techs don’t have phone numbers”.

Me?

“Yea, I put that so you would call me and question it because I don’t have anything else to do”.

Not really…….. I politely responded that they didn’t have phones so yes, that is why I put NA in the spots where the phone numbers go. I really think I deserve an award for not continuing how she didn’t ask for phone numbers in the first place…. she asked for what truck numbers the guys were driving. I gave her more information than what she needed.

These are the things I have to put up with on a DAILY basis! And these are just two things. It is almost 5:00 pm so of course I could go on and on about the stupid questions I get asked or the stupid things I have to do on a daily basis.

Coming here is like going back home to the bar in my hometown. Whenever I feel gross and ugly next to these suburbia moms I sometimes go back home to Winnie and beg my friends to go to Tiki Too. They never want to go but I want to so I can be the prettiest one (besides them of course) in the room. I leave feeling like I am Ms. America. Here at my job, I feel like I am the smartest person on the planet. Yesterday, someone called me a computer geek. They think it is a compliment to me when they say things like that and I try to take it as one……….. until days like today. However, when a client comes in and they introduce me as “The Receptionist” I want to punch their throat. I want to yell, “Well, just let me be a receptionist then”.

Its’ 4:57 so my rant has to end…….. unfortunately for my husband I didn’t vent it all out. Tomorrow, I may be trying to figure out where to hide a body.

JK 🙂

And I am typing this while answering the phone, answering more stupid questions, trying to eat lunch and get ready to head home for the day. No time for proof reading. Just know I am a genious……….. at least here I am !