When I first moved to the Big City, I use to work at a Steakhouse hidden in the corner of Sugar Land, TX.  If any of my two followers know the area, it was in the Gerlands Strip Center.  I worked as a cocktail waitress in the bar portion of the steakhouse.  It was Cheers all over again.  They would all get their at 4:00 pm and make bets on Jeopardy.  Then, the after work crowd would come and eat dinner.   Then, the Car Dealership Managers would come in and stay til midnight.  We knew their wives, their children, everything about them.  However, now that I have become “citified” am also sure it was the place to take your boyfriend or girlfriend if you were cheating.  It was dark and out of the way.  In fact, I now remember a few of our “regulars’ would show up with a new “friend” quite often.  What happened at CJ’s Stayed at CJ’s.

I am 19 working in the bar.  The bartender and I are still Best Friends to this day.  She taught me everything I know about consuming alcohol.  But, the one thing she taught me that still makes me laugh is the twat shot .  This wasn’t her favorite shot but I will say it was our most fun shot to recommend in order to make things more alive from time to time.

I remember my first time I had heard of this particular shot.  Someone had ordered a round for the bar.  Well, obviously if you clicked on the link above, you will understand this is a time consuming shot.  So, she cut lemons in half and handed out knives to all the customers at the bar.  It was like a school project.  Everyone made their own twat.  This is when I learned all about my Hoo Hah!! Some people got very descriptive.   Who Knew????

And who said drinking is not educational????

Okay, for real. Picture about 12 men all over the age of 50 and a couple of 40 plus females sitting in a circular bar cutting their lemons to look like the perfect  “Pecan”.

Of course me and the other cocktail waitress were given one as well.  I had no clue why I was carving a lemon to look like a vagina.  I just did what I was told and pretended I knew I had a labia (is that what it is called:) laughing along with everyone else.

After everyone was done, she went around and poured the Tuaca into everyone’s lemon, then followed with a sugar packet.  Once everyone was done,  everyone ate their twat.

Of  course, the men all finished first as if it was a race of who got done first….. I will keep my smart ellic comment to myself 🙂

I really wish at that time we had things like digital cameras or Facebook to post a video, or we could make a vine.  The image is still in my head and the fun we had introducing it to new comers was awesome.  I had a small New Years party this year.   I didn’t have any Tuaca so I tried to make up my own shot involving the lemon ordeal.  I thought it would be fun and help everyone loosen up.  The only liquor I had on hand was Whipped Chocolate Vodka.  I made me a twat and did the rest using the Vodka .  Yikes!!!!!  Talk about a Sour Putane!!!

For my next party, I am definitely having Twat Shots.  I want to experience everyone’s “first time” .  I can’t decided if I am going to have them on trays and offer as soon as people walk in the door or have a “Lemon carving” area set up.  I am thinking both.  I am still shocked that everytime I order this shot at a bar, I have to tell them how to make it.  I mean, men go around buying us women Blow jobs .  Why don’t us women buy the men Twat Shots?  If they clean the peel of any rind, then perhaps they might get our phone number…. 🙂

In case you didn’t click on the link above, here is the recipe I copied and pasted.

Twat Shot

Drink Type: Shooter

Ingredients

1 oz. Tuaca (more Tuaca drinks)
1 wedge(s) Lemon (more Lemon drinks)
Sugar (more Sugar drinks)

Instructions

Place lemon wedge on top of the shot glass. Cut a slit in the lemon from end to end. Squeeze ends of wedge to open slit. Pour Chilled Tuaca over lemon allowing excess to fall into shot glass below. Sprinkle sugar on top. To drink… lean over lemon wedge and put your mouth over the lemon, sucking out lemon juice Tuaca and sugar… take rest of the shot and swallow. Lots of work but worth it!
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