I graduated high school in 1992. I have two teen daughters who are for the most part pretty good. My youngest makes me lose hours of sleep and keeps me on my toes 24/7 but for the most part, she is pretty good. When I tell my friends stories of why i am stressed or what she has done lately to make me consume 2 bottles of wine, they agree with me that she is “going through her wild stage”. However, when i think about it and I remember what other kids were like in high school, i realize she isn’t a bad kid at all.
When I was growing up, I went to private school. I was raised in church 24/7. One of my many step dads I had in life was an assistant pastor at a Charasmatic church. My mother was the lead singer. Therefore, it was private school all day and music practice at night or bible studies at my house all the time. I was raised its’ a sin to smoke, sin to drink, sin to cuss, etc. Today, i look back on that church (well, a few of the people in the church) as a “cult”. It was there way or the highway. Today, i realize its’ okay to sin from time to time. Its in our nature. All we can do is try to be the best people we can.
I really don’t know why i found it necessary to put that paragraph there. LOL! I am new at the blogging thing. Everyone always tells me I should start a blog though. I haven’t told anyone I am doing it. If someone likes it fine. If i get no followers, it gives me a place to “think out loud”
Anyway, back to the story 🙂 I did not join public school until the 8th grade. I had attended kindergarten there so i knew a few people. Plus, I knew several people who had gone to private school and had switched to public before me. It was quite different of course. You could probably say a culture shock. But, it was normal junior high stuff.
In high school, things changed really fast amongst my friends. By my 16th birthday i was the only virgin left in the class. The girls i had grown up were now drinking, sneaking out, having sex, etc. Occasionally, they would pressure me but for the most part, i think they liked i didn’t drink so we would have a DD. I remember one night driving my best friends mom’s van around town while she was having sex in the back of the van. It was the norm. I skipped school a few times. That was the worse i did but all we would do is stay home and watch rated R movies like Porky’s, etc. It wasn’t that bad of stuff. I will say all my friends had their taste of experimenting with drugs, having multiple sex partners, smoking cigarettes, etc. I on the other hand, was scared to death cause my mom ws very strict. I wasn’t perfect by no means. I signed my report card a few times, wrote myself a few sick notes, etc. But, my mom never knew. I thought i was being so bad! LOL!
My daughter is “going through her wild stage” right now. Everyone says kids have it so easy now days but I realized last week I don’t think they do. With all the media, social websites, etc. it is really hard for them to skip a day of school, or say they’re going to a movie when they’re really going to a boys house. It cracks me up how a few of my friends are sitting here judging my child when they have done ten times worse. I know cause I was there!
Before when we were young, we had a phone in the house for ways to communicate with our children. Our parents told us to be home at midnight. Some of our parents (my mom) would call to verify I was really staying at someone’s house. Not all parents did that but it was done more frequently then than now. We todl them a story of what we were doing and we were home by our curfew. If not, we were grounded. I was known to go to several drinking parties. I never drank but I know for a fact even though I wasn’t drinking my mother would’ve killed me had she known I was at a party. Therefore, yes I did lie. I told you I wasn’t perfect 🙂 Today, had I done that, my mom would know the next day I had lied. Someone would post a picture on a social sight and even if i woudl be standing in the background, my mother would see it and Bam I am busted. Bottom line is I did lie. Yes. But, I wasn’t doing anything “bad”. I am having that problem with my daughter.
I guess what i am saying is what if we had the technology these kids have today? I know i had numerous friends who took polaroids of themselves and gave to guys or their boyfriends. My husband has nudes from some of his ex girlfriends. Yes, I tore them up when I found them 🙂 But, we weren’t all perfect. We all grew up. I feel sorry for the kids now. Pictures, tweets, status updates, etc. will always be around to haunt them. Also, for parents it is harder to ground.
No more can we say be home at midnight and that is it. Everyone has told little lies, did stupid stuff in high school growing up, etc. it was just harder to catch back then. I wish we were back at the days where we just had to trust our child was going to the mvoies and if they weren’t at home at midnight they got grounded. Yes, they ahve it easy on so many levels but on so many levels it si harder. If they screw up it isn’t just the people who witnessed it who knows. It is the entire school, the town, their parents, and everyone else. Their lives are on a big screen. Yes, some of them put it out there themselves but a majority of them don’t. What if we had 20 video cameras following us around all through school? People need to take a step back and remember they weren’t always role model citizens either.